Performance title: one out of...
Wine, white sheets, white dress, counting one through six, jumping, being in the middle of a park at three am, each one a significant and a specific quality during the time frame of the episode. My first hypomanic episode. Being fifteen years old and thinking it was the best time of my life. Being free, but ending up exhausted and lost.
Mentally private moments that had an audience. Carrying the memories in my mind and the others there to witness that version of myself. Performing in a public space yet, worried that someone was watching. The rush of fear on the possibility I'll get caught. No diagnosis and lack of understanding what was happening, but was there a way to prevent it? Is it in my genes or could I have just stopped on my own but chose not to?